Know the 3 simple secrets of personal credibility. They are:

1. Respect is earned from what we do, not from position, status, or power.
2. Trust happens only when people know that we are sincere and transparent.
3. We greatly increase our chances for earning trust and respect when we choose to suspend judgment of others—and keep our minds open to considering other perspectives.

Learn to deactivate your Invisible Fence. We all have an “invisible fence” we build to protect ourselves by keeping others out. Sometimes, this is appropriate. But if you don’t know how to deactivate it, you project a lack of authenticity that causes people to distrust you. Most of us tend to keep our invisible fences deactivated when we are totally at ease and feel accepted by others. But the true measure of being authentic is when we are authentic even in difficult situations.

Allgeier shares the story of “Rob,” the president of a business unit of a large financial services organization, who was asked to “hold things together” with his employees when the company was being bought out. He began holding short “lobby talks” to update employees, during which he said things like, I know that I have trouble falling asleep some nights, and I’m sure that you have the same problem.

“These employees were drawn to Rob’s authenticity as a leader,” writes Allgeier. “The truth was not ‘spun’ or ‘polished’ in any way. Rather, the facts were delivered—in a way that others could see the pure, human face of the leader who was delivering the message. No invisible fence existed with Rob.”

Keeping small commitments adds up to big credibility. If you’ve ever worked with a contractor, you may know the teeth-gnashing frustration that results when people don’t show up for appointments or even return calls. Never, never, never be the cause of such frustration, cautions Allgeier. To have personal credibility, you must keep all commitments, not just big ones—and she offers a wealth of practical tips for doing so.

Learn how to really listen. Many of us are guilty of only pretending to listen when someone is talking to us. But until we can truly connect with people, we will never truly gain their trust and respect. To be a good listener:

1. Stop other activities.
2. Make eye contact.
3. Show engagement in your body language—nod your head, lean forward, occasionally interject an “uh-huh” or “I see.” Smile when appropriate.
4. Instead of thinking of your response, think in terms of capturing the key points the person is making. Suspend judgment while you are connecting!

The truth doesn’t need stretching—it just needs doing. It’s not a crime to forget something. You are not a bad person if you need more time to accomplish a task than originally planned. You have not failed when you have an occasional dropped ball. However, if you try to pass it off as a task being done or taken care of when that is not factual, you can expect this practice to eventually be discovered. Far better to just say, “Not yet—but I’ll get right on it” than to attempt to appear competent while simultaneously revealing a tendency toward covering up facts or stretching the truth.

Click here to read the introduction to The Personal Credibility Factor.